Rising above trauma

Rising above trauma 


What happens if the trauma is so intense that you don't know how to overcome it? Here's what I think of the trauma I have faced not once but twice. I lost two brothers to suicide, my brother put a gun to his head and that is something you can't ever forget. I had to adjust my thoughts towards life and death. You ask yourself the questions, How do I get through it? I know it hurts but how do I get through it? Here’s a way through the emotional process I've learned.

  1. Let yourself feel it all 
  2. Stop carrying the blame 
  3. Speak the story 
  4. Find your anchor in the present 

 There's no way to explain the order of trauma. Someone else's experience may seem more or less than our own but we need to get real about it. What's important is not the event itself, not the suffering as such, but how we make sense of it. Many people experience challenging life events that they thought they could not overcome. But, I am that example for those who have been through depression and tragic loss in their lives. How do you embrace life again after the experience? How do they get better? How do they learn to emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and growth? To answer is simple, you can find that purpose within the universe is a part of who you are, don't give up on life I didn't. If you are struggling please don’t be afraid to contact me on social media


Losing someone to suicide—or surviving a suicide attempt—is a trauma that cuts deep. It’s not just a moment in time. It’s a before and after. It changes how you see the world, others, and yourself.

Whether you’re living with the grief of a loved one’s suicide or facing your thoughts or attempts, the pain is real—and so is the possibility of healing.

In this post, we’ll explore how to begin moving forward, not by pretending everything is okay, but by learning how to live with the pain in a way that’s honest, hopeful, and healing.

1. Acknowledge the Truth of What Happened

Healing begins with acceptance—not in a passive way, but as an active step toward truth.
It’s okay to admit:

  • This hurt more than words can say.

  • I didn’t have answers.

  • I still carry questions.

Let yourself feel without rushing to fix it. The trauma may have left you confused, angry, numb, or deeply heartbroken. All of it is valid.

🪷 “You don’t need to understand the pain to start healing from it.”

2. Release Guilt and Blame

Suicide leaves behind many unanswered questions. If you’ve lost someone, you may be haunted by “What if?” thoughts.

  • What if I had called?

  • What if I noticed the signs?

  • What if I had done more?

If you’ve survived a suicide attempt yourself, guilt can show up as shame, self-judgment, or fear of being misunderstood.

But here’s the truth: You are not to blame.
Mental health struggles are complex. No single moment, person, or decision causes suicide. You are human. And you did what you could with what you knew at the time.

3. Say the Hard Things Out Loud

Trauma often isolates us in silence. But speaking your truth—out loud, in writing, in therapy, or even privately in a journal—helps you process what feels unbearable.

When you put pain into words, you take back your power.
You begin to separate who you are from what happened to you.

4. Find Meaning Within the Loss

This part comes later, after the waves of raw emotion begin to settle.

Many people find comfort and strength in asking:
“What can I do with this pain?”

  • Can I use it to help others?

  • Can I raise awareness around mental health?

  • Can I live in a way that honours what I’ve survived?

This doesn’t mean the pain disappears. But it means you’re giving it purpose. And that’s powerful.

5. Stay Connected to Life, Bit by Bit

When everything feels overwhelming, healing can happen in small, quiet moments:

  • Taking a walk.

  • Drinking water.

  • Sitting with a friend.

  • Listening to music that lifts you.

  • Saying, “I made it through today.”

These aren’t small things. These are survival skills.
And they stack up, slowly, into strength.

6. Ask for Support (Even If It Feels Hard)

You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, you shouldn’t.

There are people who will listen. Who will understand. Who won’t judge.
Reach out to a therapist, support group, coach, or a trusted friend. Let someone walk beside you as you begin to heal.

Final Thoughts

You don’t “get over” suicide.
But you can overcome its grip on your mind, your spirit, and your identity.

You can live a full life again. You can feel joy again. You can find purpose again.
And you deserve to.

If you’re healing from suicide-related trauma, be gentle with yourself.
Progress might feel slow. But every day you choose to stay is a quiet act of courage.

 I am a life coach who can support you through the trauma.

Hope this helps you to be inspired to live life the best you can by making changes for you.

Lori from Lifesuccessnz 

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