Self love and imperfections

Self love &imperfection

Before we reach our potential we have to first believe we have some and that we’re worthy of it and this can be a massive hurdle if we struggle to love ourselves. That's why Gala Darling created radical self love her book is sold in local nz stores. It’s an issue for so many and one we don’t often talk about.

I used to find it hard to love myself.

I would constantly focus on the things I didn’t have and what was wrong with me, always overlooking the things that were good about my life and about me as a person. I never felt good enough and even after trying to make my life as good as possible I still felt like I was acting in a play and would get found out as not being as good as people seemed to think including siblings.
The perfectionism was causing more harm than I thought which lead me to not love myself enough.
This lack of confidence plus my ability to focus on the negatives, not the positives, would hold me back. I would look at other people and they seemed to have it all figured out. What was I missing? I was lacking unconditional love i had work on letting the universal god share the love knowing something bigger than me was loving me. After coaching many clients I now know that we’re all busy thinking that is anxiety right there! We’re the only one who feels like this yet we’re all having similar thoughts and feelings; comparing to others, falling short, wishing things were different, not feeling good enough. We must stop judging others and support other's like ourselves.

After a series of wrong relationships that lead to abuse I spent time on my own, discovering myself and learning to love myself that's when i started following Gala Darling one YouTube. Once I began to feel comfortable in my own skin and embraced me for who I was, not who I thought I should be or the person others would like me to be, I began to be happier. I stopped letting my siblings expectation cause me to feel like I wasn't worthy that's when I started living life to the fullest. I realised the way I thought of myself all those years was influencing what other people thought of me too and therefore who I attracted, and not just that but who I felt worthy of settling for.

Self-love requires us to be gentle with ourselves and look after ourselves like we would a child we are caring for.

If we don’t love ourselves we can end up self-sabotaging. An example of how this plays out can be found in our relationships. Lack of self-love can leave us seeking validation through others due to our own lack of worth and confidence. This can be in our friendships, our social media postings and also in the intimate relationships we seek.

Looking for intimate encounters to validate the fact we’re desirable because otherwise we don’t believe it. Constantly posting glamorous selfies so that people can tell us we look great because we don’t believe it ourselves. Needing a partner or other half because we don’t feel enough by ourselves, and to be single must mean we’re not wanted and undesirable.

When we think like this we can make bad choices, end up in destructive friendships, and one sided relationships were we are desperately seeking validation from someone who will never respect us, because we don’t respect ourselves.

Another way lack of self-love can harm us is the belief that we must always come second. We don’t ask for what we want because we’re too busy worrying about what everyone else needs. We can get the boundaries for self-care all wrong when we don’t put our own needs first.

I used to be the kind of person that’d still go shopping even though I had a seizure even though I didn’t feel like it and was coming down with a cold because i didn't know what to do with myself, I’d go to record when I was sick so I didn't feel like I was letting my fans down and would not think I was unproductive. As a result I got more sick and more exhausted that's when at 25 I was told I have epilepsy.

It didn’t do me any Favor's but I wasn’t thinking about me and as a result the ‘me’ I speak of was tired, disconnected and unhappy. This changed when I began to love myself more and put me first, still with the intention of looking after others but not at the expense of myself.  Like in the aeroplane safety demonstrations – you should always put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.

I hope this blog has helped you understand the reason we should love ourselves first which leads to a happier life.

Love and light from Lori at lifesuccessnz xx