Dealing with troubled emotions

Most important part in the chain of emotional causation has been left out yourself! In order to experience an emotional reaction to an event, you first have to evaluate the personal experience of that event. 

A - activating event: end of relationship 

B - beliefs or thoughts: without her, I'm worthless without him or her 

C - emotional and behavioral consequences: depression and withdraw from social activities

You may say that A caused C when really in CBT language this is called A-C thinking (events cause our emotions). This viewpoint overlooks individual variations of the same event which is not uncommon. Not everyone feels depressed about the end of a relationship one person is anxious about coping alone, another is angry which is normal. In order to understand C you need to focus on B not A this is called B-C thinking our beliefs and thoughts at B ultimately determine how you feel at C. To choose one's attitude in any given situation or circumstances to cope with adversity is your responsibility and no one else's. You choose how you react to life events whether it past or present your feelings are largely determined by your current attitude to these events for example I could be sad and depressed about my tragic loss of my brother when I was a kid yet it happened to me when I was 28 my reaction to my loss could of impacted my life now but I choose to not let it destroy me unless another family member tried to commit suicide then it be not easy to control my anxiety but I try my best to support the person. We are not perfect but there is a way to overcome our troubled emotions management of course. When your feeling bad ask yourself what is going through my mind at this present moment? When you have automatic thoughts are called auto negative thoughts they pop up involuntarily.

In order to change how you feel you need to change your thoughts. 

I hope this helps you to overcome negative experiences.

Lori from Lifesucessnz xx