How to overcome sexual assault

 Some of us have experienced sexual assault, so here are some guidance. 

For people outside NZ 

https://www.healthline.com/health/sexual-assault-resource-guide

For people in NZ

https://health.nzdf.mil.nz/your-health/mind/recovering-from-trauma/


If you’ve experienced sexual assault, know that it isn’t your fault.

If you’ve been sexually assaulted, you may have many mixed emotions. You may also ask yourself many questions. All reactions are valid. I know from my own experience of sex abuse. No one should be assaulted sexually by any means. 

IF YOU’VE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED
  • Consider your immediate safety. Call 911 or if in NZ 111 if you believe you’re in direct danger. Leave any location or situation that doesn’t feel safe. Call a local police station to seek shelter and assistance.
  • Find someone who can help you. This can be a trusted family member or friend. It can also be an advocate from a local crisis center.
  • Seek medical care. You can get treatment for injuries from a clinic, doctor’s office, or hospital emergency department. You can seek medical care without reporting what happened to law enforcement.
  • Consider getting a sexual assault examination, or a “rape kit.” This preserves potential DNA evidence. In the event you decide that you do want to proceed with official charges, this kit will be invaluable.
  • Write down what you remember. If you decide to report the assault, this information may be helpful to you and police officers.
  • Find mental health support. Your local crisis center can connect you with professionals skilled in this area of support.
  • Figure out your next steps. A sexual assault service provider can help answer any questions you may have. They can also connect you with resources you may need, including legal and medical options.

Sexual assault is a broad term. It encompasses many experiences. 

Your individual experience is valid.

This guide may help you understand the events you experienced so you can communicate it more clearly. You will experience post traumatic stress disorder which is normal for being sexually assaulted. 

It may also help you understand the variety of behavior that isn’t tolerable and possibly illegal.

Sexual assault is:

An umbrella term that encompasses many types of sexual activity, contact, or behavior that’s performed without explicit and enthusiastic consent. 

The legal definition of sexual assault can vary by state.

These activities include (but aren’t limited to):

  • rape
  • attempted rape
  • harassment
  • fondling
  • unwanted touching, either over or under clothes
  • incest
  • child sexual abuse
  • molestation
  • unwanted oral sex
  • flashing
  • forced posing for sexual pictures
  • forced performance for sexual video

Rape is:

Sexual intercourse or penetration with a sex organ that occurs without consent.

Consent is necessary in all sexual encounters. An ongoing relationship or a past history of intimacy doesn’t preclude either party from getting consent from the other person.

Likewise, no action provides consent except an explicit agreement. This includes other sexual acts like kissing or touching. 

The absence of consent is sexual assault.

“Date rape” is a term used to define rape that happened when the individuals knew each other. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “dating” the person who raped you; you may only be acquaintances. Rape can, however, take place in relationships.

“Stranger rape” is a term used to define rape that happens when the people involved don’t know each other.

Force is: 

The use of intimidation factors to demand a person engage in sexual activity against their will. 

Force may include:

  • blackmail
  • emotional coercion
  • manipulation
  • threats
  • intimidation
  • the use or display of a weapon
  • physical battery or assault
  • immobilization or restriction

If you’ve experienced sexually assault, you may need medical care. 

You can seek treatment at an after-hours clinic, regular doctor’s office, department of health, or emergency department.

The choice to seek medical treatment is yours alone.

If you want to undergo an examination for the purposes of pressing charges against the individual who assaulted you, you’ll need to seek out a facility that provides this service. 

An advocacy organization can provide you with a list of facilities in your area.

They can also provide you with an assault advocate. If you’d like, this person can join you for your initial exam and any subsequent appointments.

You may also consider bringing a trusted friend or family member.

Many advocacy groups can also provide financial assistance or connect you to organizations that can.

Physical injury is:

Trauma or obvious harm to the body.

A healthcare provider will perform a complete and thorough physical exam, looking for signs of bruising, tearing, or other possible injury. 

They can then provide recommendations for treatment.

A drug test is:

A way for doctors and law enforcement officials to determine if you were drugged before the assault.

Some drugs can interfere with your ability to think clearly and prevent you from giving informed consent. 

Urine and blood tests can detect the presence of many of these drugs. 

In order to get accurate results, these tests need to be performed as soon as possible after the assault.

An STI test is:

A blood, urine, or swab test that can detect the presence of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Not all STIs will show up immediately after an assault. Some take several weeks to become detectable. You may need to follow up with a healthcare provider for additional tests later.

Medicine can prevent some STIs after exposure. A doctor can prescribe these preventive medications to you. 

In most cases, you need to take these preventive medications within 72 hours of possible exposure.

A pregnancy test is:

A urine or blood test that can detect a pregnancy.

You must wait until after the first day of your missed period to get an accurate reading. 

A “rape kit” is a term commonly used to describe an evidence collection process. 

The proper term for a rape kit is a sexual assault forensic exam (SAFE). 

The Violence Against Women Act requires states provide this exam free of charge.

The kit itself is a collection of forensic tools, papers, and containers. Trained staff use this kit to collect possible evidence from a crime scene, personal belongings, or clothes.

TRY TO AVOID:
  • using the restroom
  • showering or bathing
  • washing your hair
  • changing your clothes
  • brushing your hair

To begin, a specially trained medical professional will conduct a full physical exam, including a pelvic exam. 

They may:

  • take samples of cells from your cheeks, anus, penis, or vagina
  • scrape under your fingernails
  • draw your blood 
  • request a urine sample

The evidence collected during this forensic exam can be used to prosecute the person or persons who assaulted you. 

To get the most evidence, you should have this exam within 72 hours of the assault. 

There are many benefits to having this evidence collected, but you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You can also stop, pause, or skip parts of the exam at any point.

Collecting the data for a rape kit doesn’t mean you have to inform the police. The medical facility that has your kit can turn it over to law enforcement with an anonymous identification number. 

They’ll give you this number so you can check for results and, if you do decide to talk to the police, help them connect the results with your case.

Law enforcement is required to store rape kits for a set amount of time. That length of time depends on state and local laws. Some store it for a few years, others for decades.

Some states will process the kit even if you don’t intend to press charges. The data could be added to a national database, which could help law enforcement officials around the country.

A RAPE KIT DOESN’T MEAN AN OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION

If you don’t want to talk to the police, you don’t have to. A rape kit doesn’t change that.
A rape kit is a way for you to preserve possible evidence in the event you decide you want to report.
Most states require law enforcement officials to hold the kits for several years. You have time to make a decision if you don’t immediately know what you want to do.

Sexual assault is a crime. Some may report it right away. Others may wait years before filing a report. Many people who experience sexual assault choose not to report it.

The choice to report what happened to you is yours alone.

Keep in mind that most states do have statutes of limitations. These prevent individuals from being charged with crimes that occurred before a certain date. 

Each state’s statutes are different. It’s important to know yours. An advocacy group can help connect you to your local legal resources.

If you’re ready to report an assault

If the assault just happened, you can call 911 USA or if in NZ 111. A law enforcement official will come to you or help you get to safety.

Some law enforcement officials may also help you find an advocacy group that can help you navigate the process and answer questions for you.

You can also call your local police department’s nonemergency line at a later time. 

You can even visit the station to make a report. An officer will join you and begin the process. 

If you want medical treatment first

You can go to a hospital emergency department, rape crisis center, or other clinic and inform them of what happened. 

They’ll ask you if you’d like to report the crime. If you say yes, they can contact law enforcement officials.

What happens during a police report

An officer will begin by asking you what happened. 

If you’ve written down any account of the events, these notes may be helpful here. 

Tell the officer or investigator whatever you remember, even if you aren’t sure of whether it’ll be helpful to their investigation.

The officer will likely go on to ask you a series of questions. Answer them as best you can. Let them know when you don’t know an answer.

If you can, bring a trusted friend or family member with you. A local advocacy organization can also provide a trained staff member who will help you through the process.

FILING A POLICE REPORT CAN BE DIFFICULT

Recounting the events of a traumatic assault may be emotional trying.
It may take several hours. You could also be called back for additional questioning.
If you don’t have a friend or loved one who can join you for this process, call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline.
These advocates can help you through every step of the process, answering questions and providing any information or support you need.

What happens with a report

Right away, officers begin an investigation with the information you provide. 

If you know the person who assaulted you, the police will likely bring them in for questioning. They’ll record the person’s recollection of events.

They may also request a DNA sample to compare to any DNA from a rape kit.

If you don’t know the person who assaulted you, investigators will work to put a name to the person. This is where detailed information can come in handy. 

Police can retrace your steps, looking for possible eyewitnesses. In some cases, they may try to collect other evidence, such as video footage, that can corroborate your account. 

Your investigating officer should provide you with a case number. You can use this number to inquire about the status of your report. 

Your investigating officer may reach out to you with updates as the case progresses.

Evidence of the assault will be turned over to the local district attorney’s office. They can work with the police to decide if there’s enough evidence to press charges against the person who assaulted you. 

At this point, you may be asked to come and speak with the district attorney’s office.

When reporting an assault is mandatory

In most states, healthcare providers and advocates are required by law to report an assault if the person is under 18 years old.

You may have several legal questions after a sexual assault. 

You may want to ask about the process of filing a report and going through an investigation. 

If the case goes to trial, you may want legal counseling, too.

Some legal resources are available free of charge. Others may provide services for discounted prices. 

When you face the person get your mindset in a better place and say screw you dude I’m taking control of my life now!

NZ only - 

https://rpe.co.nz/sexual-violence/

https://www.victimsupport.org.nz/get-support/sexual-violence

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