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Are you unhappy with where you're at in your life right now? Are things not quite going the way that you envisioned they would? If so, don't worry –– you are not alone. From average, every-day people to worldwide celebrities, every single person on this planet has experienced moments of disappointment and frustration as they navigate their lives, and often it’s avoidable. Thankfully, there are 9 ways to stop ruining your life.

Overview

The 9 ways to stop ruining your life include:

Have a goal;
Step out of your cave;
Take risks;
Get out of your head;
Produce;
Welcome feedback;
Be vulnerable;
Embrace conflict;
Be optimistic.

Let’s dive in!

1.) Have a goal

It's time to stop floating aimlessly and start living with purpose. You already have a sense of what you want, but it's vague. Let's make it clear.

Ask yourself critical questions:

How do you want to spend your time?
What daily emotions do you seek?
What kind of relationships are you after?
Image generated by DALL-E

Without specific goals, you're like a balloon at the mercy of the wind.
Define your path. Create a roadmap for 1 month from now, 1 year from now, even 5 years from now. Start writing in your journal.
Embrace meaning and fulfillment in your life. It's time to find your direction.
2.) Step out of your cave
Break free from the screen's grasp and reclaim your life.
People spend an average of almost 7 hours per day in front of screens, and it's taking a toll on mental health. The solution? Step outside get vitamin D.
Image generated by DALL-E

Be a person in the world, not just a number in a data set. Engage, explore, and seek new experiences. Radiate abundance by connecting with others.
Don't let isolation create a void within you that external inputs can't fill. Get out of your cave, meet people, and embrace the world around you.
3.) Take risks
Life is inherently risky. We can't avoid bad things happening, but we can choose how we face them. Have a positive mindset.
Instead of fearing, start small. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. Even if it feels awkward, you'll respect yourself for trying.

Taking calculated risks builds resilience and adaptability. It's a skill that improves with practice. This is what I did for myself.
Remember, it's never too late to start taking risks. Avoiding them is the riskiest move of all. So, dive in, embrace life's inherent risks, and enjoy the journey.
4.) Get out of your head
You've got your life vision and daily goals in place. Now, here's a crucial insight: We often overthink simple actions. This is why writing in a journal helps.
Take going to the gym, for example. You don't need to overcomplicate it. Instead of getting lost in endless planning and shopping for workout gear, just go to the gym.

Act before you overthink.
Efficiency is about putting one foot in front of the other and starting without elaborate contemplation. So, stop overcomplicating things and start doing what you need to.
5.) Produce
In a world dominated by consumption, it's time to change our habits.
Many of us passively consume content, hypnotized by what's in front of us. Switch off that self-improvement episode. Leave this content for later.

Act before you overthink.
Efficiency is about putting one foot in front of the other and starting without elaborate contemplation. So, stop overcomplicating things and start doing what you need to.
Take action, go produce something meaningful. Life becomes more exciting when we create more than we consume.
- If you love podcasts, create them.
- If you enjoy scrolling through Instagram, learn to take great photos.
The feeling of creation, of being in the flow, is what we truly desire when we're stuck in consumption mode.
So, aim to produce at least as much as you consume, or even more. It's time to shift from being passive consumers to active creators.
6.) Welcome feedback
Don't confine yourself to an echo chamber. It's easy to surround yourself with people who share your beliefs, but that's not the path to growth.

Take action, go produce something meaningful. Life becomes more exciting when we create more than we consume.
- If you love podcasts, create them.
- If you enjoy scrolling through Instagram, learn to take great photos.
The feeling of creation, of being in the flow, is what we truly desire when we're stuck in consumption mode.
So, aim to produce at least as much as you consume, or even more. It's time to shift from being passive consumers to active creators.
6.) Welcome feedback
Don't confine yourself to an echo chamber. It's easy to surround yourself with people who share your beliefs, but that's not the path to growth.
While it's natural for your inner circle to share some of your opinions, it's equally vital to have those who challenge you, who set high standards. They help keep you on the right path, even if it's uncomfortable.
Seek individuals who aspire to see your best self emerge, not those who just want you to stay comfortable. It's the discomfort that often leads to personal growth.
7.) Be vulnerable
Being vulnerable means being emotionally honest with those close to you, especially those who hold you to high standards.
The alternative is to be secretive, keeping your flaws and mistakes hidden.
This secrecy allows bad habits to thrive in the shadows and weigh more heavily on you than they should. When you're not emotionally vulnerable, you hide a part of yourself from the world. This is unhealthy way to live.

Ask yourself where you need to be more courageous and open in your life.
- What truths should you share?
- Where do you need healing?
Remember, your dark side flourishes in secrecy.
Don't be afraid to confide in someone you trust, because sharing your truth can lift a heavy burden and free you to become the best version of yourself.
8.) Embrace conflict
Embracing conflict resolution can be challenging, but it's crucial for maintaining self-respect and balance in life.
Running from conflict or allowing others to wrong you without speaking up can make you seem weaker, and opens the door to further mistreatment.

If someone does something you don't appreciate or crosses a line, don't say, "It's okay" when it's not. By doing so, you compromise your self-respect and invite further mistreatment.
This also includes family situations.
It's essential to address issues honestly and be willing to speak up even if it makes you seem mildly unpleasant in the moment.
This approach not only earns respect from others but, more importantly, from yourself.
9.) Be optimistic
People may think optimists don't realize the suffering in the world and believe life is all sunshine and rainbows. But optimism isn't about being blind to reality; it's about the opposite of pessimism.
While it's true that suffering is a part of life, adding compulsive negativity (AKA, pessimism) to the mix only makes things worse.
Being overly negative doesn't improve our lives; it cuts us off at the knees before we can get started.

Optimism means focusing on the good without ignoring the negative aspects of reality. It's about choosing to see the positive aspects and practicing gratitude.
It's essential to recognize the ways you're being negative about yourself, your capabilities, your past, your future, and the world around you.
In a world that isn't always encouraging, remember that you shouldn't be the one robbing yourself of encouragement. Practice the art of habitually seeing the positive aspects of life and embrace optimism.
Conclusion
There you have it — 9 ways to stop ruining your life. I hope the examples and definitions in this guide help you open the door to a life filled with purpose, joy, and unbounded potential.
I’d love to hear from you:
- Among the nine ways discussed in this newsletter, which one do you believe you need to focus on the most to stop self-sabotaging behaviors in your life?
- Reflecting on your own experiences, can you identify a specific instance where self-sabotaging behaviors affected your life negatively?
Have a wonderful week, all.
Much love to you and yours, Lori @tranquilitynz ❤️